Life is a journey indeed

It has been oh so long since I've written for this blog. It almost became burdensome to write not just for this blog but for myself. I had all these entries prepared in my head, every day a different topic or a thread in response to a headline but life's circumstances overwhelmed that desire and something in me also drifted away..

This first year of marriage has been a mixed bag of emotions. I know I continue to harp on this issue and I'm sure my husband would like for me to 'get over it' already but somehow I can't do myself justice without first completely accepting the change. I hold on to the notion that women generally have to sacrifice so much more in a marriage than men. I gave up my job, my family, my surroundings in a city I loved to be with him. All he had to do was make room in his closet for my clothes, move his car to one side in the garage to make room for mine and keep the bathroom cleaner than he normally did. After having to make those adjustments, I started a new job in a new city and trying to make new acquaintances, ones that I actually liked and not just befriend his friends' wives. Add to this the complexity of becoming pregnant nearly 3 months into our marriage. Talk about overloading on emotions.

Nearly a year later, I have a healthy baby boy and a wonderful husband who still doesn't listen very well so when it comes to for presents, he ends up getting me 10 lotions... Nonetheless, life hasn't gotten less easy, it's just more manageable and more routine which is not a bad thing considering the flux of last year.

Learning to juggle the roles I've been dealt with as mother, wife, daughter in law and colleague has been draining at times but in certain ways very fulfilling. As a women you're constantly the one having to readjust paradigms and forget what it was that made you, you. Writing was one of those things for me and I lost it along the way. I hope I am making amends with myself by beginning to write once more.

I'm baaack, or at least I'm trying to get back

It has been altogether too long since I last wrote on my blog. Partly because I had lost inspiration to write, partly because there was too much to take in of my new existence and not enough words with which to explain it and partly because we are expecting a little rascal to join us in May.

Holy shit. First marriage was a big thing to swallow. Then moving to a new city and starting a new job. Add to that now becoming a mother. Not altogether the smartest thing to do to oneself but then I should have planned better. Nonetheless, I am excited to begin yet another chapter of life, albeit hesitatingly. And don’t hate me kid if I wasn’t all that prepared to raise you because truth is, I wasn’t. I’ll have help from your grandparents so don’t worry that you won’t be loved or bathed or fed. You will. But if I get tired after a few hours with you, don’t mind it, it’s just my signal that I need me time.

In other news over the past 5 months, we’ve gotten a new president, fell into a worldwide recession, witnessed more violence in Palestine and purchased a new rug. Just your typical 5 months in any normal calendar year..

Let the Games Begin

The 29th Olympic Games begin today in Beijing. With the air cleared of smog (at least for now,) China is ready to show off its coming of age. After 7 years and $20B in infrastructure costs, Beijing is open to the world. However, after these Olympics, I think, people will understand why they won't go to China until a few problems are fixed:

1- traffic. You can't go anywhere because too many cars are jammed in narrow streets. There needs to be more user-friendly public transportation. That is how any big city has thrived as a tourist destination. I remember it took 40 mins to go 5 miles from our China World Hotel to Tiannemen Square. I kept asking are we there yet.

2- pollution. I would have opted to walk the 5 miles mentioned above, but then I wouldn't be able to breathe once I got to the destination. Too many people, an economy ready to burst onto the global scene without adequate infrastructure and too many industrial factories polluting the air. I read a statistic that stated 1 in 4 people in Beijing has upper respiratory problems. No kidding. I never once saw blue clouds or the sun in 7 days of traveling in Beijing. The people will suffer and tourists will stay away (or complain).

3- food. Chinese eat strange foods but that doesn't mean the rest of us want to. Menus are indecipherable and most items usually have some form of lard. I was lucky in that I went with my Jewish and native Chinese colleague who insisted on knowing the composition of every thing and had a translator sitting with us. Otherwise, I could have unknowingly eaten ox balls or something.

4- perhaps most importantly. human rights. If China wants to emerge as the better superpower, it needs to fix its record on domestic human rights and intervene on international fronts where its pressure would force governments to action, namely Sudan.

Otherwise, have fun at the Olympics. I'll be fine watching from my TV set at home.

Black in America

CNN heavily advertised for their ground-breaking series entitled Black in America, a two-part series that focused on black women and black men living in America today on the heels of the next elections which has poised a black man to become the President of the United States. What resulted (at least for me) wasn’t as eye-opening but rather solidifying why we hold certain stereotypes up for black people.

As a daughter of South Asian immigrants, I understand and saw the hard work my parents performed over the past 28 years and continue to do in order to live comfortably in middle class America. I have seen Mexicans and other immigrants in NY, DC, and Chicago do the same.

So I suppose my frustration with CNNs Black in America and black Americans in general is why they can’t do the same. I play the devil’s advocate here because living in the cities mentioned above, I know how the vicious cycle of poverty, poor education, single parent homes, and violence can perpetuate in generation after generation of black kids. Perhaps my parents and I didn’t know any better and had no long history of suffering in America like black Americans know and have lived with. But there is a part of me that asks black folks to leave the excuses on the table. Leave it and lift yourselves up. When Obama and Cosby criticize black fathers, people such as the likes of Jesse Jackson shouldn’t criticize (especially not since he conceived an illegitimate child and refused to acknowledge them until recently), but instead offer alternate ways in which to reach out to the community with positive messages of change.

Black in America was a much-needed piece that stirs debate amongst all Americans trying to understand the difficulties of being black in America, which carries its own set of burdens. Perhaps more auspiciously, we can do better as a nation by lifting up all of our neighbors, be they Black or Hispanic or Asian, heralding the dawn of next year when we will have a new president in the White House that hasn’t looked like the ones of years past.

Subway Ad Outrage

As usual in NYC, if it's not one nut, it's another. Rep. Peter King is trying to petition the MTA to not allow Islamic Circle of North America's Why Islam? advertising campaign on its trains. The advertising, very simply was created to educate New Yorkers on Islam by providing a provoking word and leading them to a website to find out the truth . Peter King, being the racist he is, thinks that because Imam Siraj Wahhaj lends his advocacy to the campaign, it is somehow affiliated with terrorism. I could comment further on this, but then I would sound Anti-semitic, so let me not.

In this video, Azeem Khan, a spokesman for ICNA (and someone I went to elementary school with, and who by the way made fun of me back in 6th grade- but I forgive him) defends the campaign. Nice job Azeem.

Oh the changes!

I've been MIA for some time. In the meantime a few changes took place in my life. I left my job in NJ to DC to be with my extended family who came from Pakistan to celebrate my wedding. I found a subletter and sold things on Craigslist in a matter of 2 days and packed myself out of the little apartment. Hosted 20 guests for 2 weeks before my wedding. Finished preparing for the 300-guest wedding. Interviewed and accepted another job in another state. Moved to Texas to be with my husband. Started a new job. That's all. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Except that all of it was stressful and happy and mind-numbing and sad and too many other emotions that I can't quite recall currently as I take a break from my new job as an Assoc. Brand Manager at Odwalla, the most awesome juice company there is! Yes I've become a total and utter fan and stalk people in the grocery aisles when they pick up but don't buy Odwalla juice and/or bar. I have gone so far as to pull out a coupon and entice them to try without risk. I hope not to be caught doing this otherwise grocery clerks will throw me out.

In any case, I live in Houston and for the most part its ok.. except I don't consider it permanent. I'm hoping Irfan sees the light and will want to move to the East coast one day (soon). In the case that we don't, Houston it is. I'll have to find some interesting people to call 'friends.' I'm tired now and I should get back to work. More challenges to chronicle as I step in marriagehood or whatever they call it.

13 days to go..

oh so apparently i was informed that i only have 13 days of singledom left. umm, that isn't so amusing anymore. i have way too much to do in 13 days than i thought of and starting a relaxation treatment would be one of them. 3 bachelorette parties later, i think i should be ready for the fuss to end, but i kind of like it. unfortunately real life will begin very shortly and i will downgrade from fiance 5.0 to husband 1.0- one can hope though?